wholeness – Faith Fitness and Mommy Stuff

Comfortable With The Uncomfortable

I wrote this a few months ago. I never did feel led to put in a photo. Instead I went with a verse. I’m not sure why God asked me to share this, but I trust that it will resonate with someone out there.

No graphics or photos for this post. I don’t know, maybe as I go through my day God will give me a visual to share. But right now, right this moment He’s telling me to just share my heart.

Yesterday a dear sister in Christ texted me a link to a video from the Leading and Loving It #JustONE2016 virtual conference. I’m not sure what day it was from, but it was good. Like brush off the dust of complacency and do some work for the kingdom, good. Work I have been too _______ (fill in the blank – tired, busy, lazy) to do. I’m not talking projects here, either. I’m talking about the work of boldly living out my faith. Declaring His truth whenever and wherever I feel His Spirit leading me to.

Here are some of the notes I jotted down, and you can watch the video here for yourself.

Get going – say YES to God without knowing the details, especially the outcome. Move when He says to and move with urgency.
Get strategic – be aware, be intentional, and be sensitive. Pay attention to people’s details.
Get uncomfortable – God calls me to serve and wash feet.

After watching that video I decided to sign up for the conference – funny, I thought I already had signed up but I guess that was last year – and watch all of the videos. They’re sent directly to my inbox so there’s no extra clicking on my part. The Day 1 video arrived this morning and I couldn’t really relate it to my current season of life. Lori Wilhite talks about God trading our junk for joy, our hurt for healing, and our pain for purpose. Believe me, I’ve had plenty of junk, hurt, and pain. Enough to last a lifetime. But as of this morning I had no current junk, hurt, or pain to reflect on. {Or so I thought} I still looked up Isaiah 60:17, the verse she was focusing on, and took notes. I even added personal reflections to each of her three points.

I could feel God stirring something up within me, and knew He was telling me it was time to dig deeper. Back in early January I signed up for my second ‪#‎cleanhearting‬ challenge to support the amazing ministry of Revelation Wellness. I wasn’t planning on going through the challenge again. I figured I’d watch Alisa Keeton on Periscope when I could or pull up a scope on Katch.

But I started experiencing heartburn a couple of weeks ago and it hasn’t let up. Heartburn is only something I dealt with during pregnancy. And before you ask, no, I am not pregnant. At first I was in denial, blaming the one meal that might have triggered it. But then I got still and quiet long enough (after several days of refusing to listen to my body) to see that the discomfort is God lovingly nudging me. Nudging me to look at my habits and idols.

So when I had finished watching the Day 1 #JustONE2016 video, I decided to read the Day 1 email for he Clean Hearting Challenge to do just that. To identify and confront the idols and habits that are keeping me from doing the kingdom building work God is calling me to do. Day 1 seemed easy enough – looking at the root of our desire to live clean, a desire God created us to have because we were made in His image and He is clean and blameless. Looking at Alisa’s very simple and straight forward definition of clean eating – avoid refined and processed foods and eat real food – was just the “Dude, I can do this” moment I needed.

And the let’s do this attitude wasn’t just about the eating either – and that’s the whole point behind the Clean Hearting Challenge, by the way, to pull off the blinders and see that it’s all about the condition of our hearts. It’s about treating myself better by eating life giving foods more often than fake foods, by getting more sleep, and by moving more. And moms out there, please hear me when I say that none of those goals are selfish. When I take better care of myself, I am better able to love the people God calls me to serve and love. And so are you.

The notion of loving people better got me thinking about February being the perfect month to practice being more intentional in my marriage. So I took The Husband Project: 21 Days of Loving Your man on Purpose and with a Plan off a shelf and started reading it. But right when I was getting to the “meat” of the first chapter it was time to get the boys ready for church.

Just a typical Sunday morning. Until it wasn’t. I got the twins dressed and fed. They were happily playing with our oldest until I had to go upstairs and get dressed and my husband out of bed. As I was getting ready he told me that he decided to sleep in and not to come to church. I was fine with that since he doesn’t sleep in very often. But a small disagreement with our oldest turned into something much bigger not only between the two of us but also between me and my husband. Before I knew it voices were raised and doors were slammed. And to top it all off one of the twins was refusing to get buckled into his car seat. I wanted to cry. And I did.

In spite of my feelings and the tears streaming down my face I went to church. Well, not exactly. The truth is I no longer wanted to go to church. I didn’t know what I wanted to do – I just knew I didn’t want to go. I almost marched everyone out of the minivan and back into the house, but I inadvertently locked the basement door when I slammed it and didn’t have a key to get back in.

So I drove us to church and apologized to my oldest on the way. I apologized for my tone and for slamming the car and house doors. He accepted my apology, because that’s what we do in our house. We humble ourselves to apologize, and we humble ourselves to forgive.

As soon as our junior pastor started preaching I knew that God meant for me to experience what I did this morning so I could really listen to his message. Not just hear it, but listen to it. His message was anchored in Job. It was such an encouragement from my Daddy. It was a reminder that when I make a kingdom declaration – like I did today saying that I was ready to do kingdom building work – that I will be met with opposition. I just forgot how quickly it can happen.

Today I spent some intentional time with God, and shortly thereafter the enemy came at me. Hard. He attacked my marriage and my motherhood. I wanted to throw up my hands and throw in the towel. But as a daughter of the King of kings I must remember that I am not called to do the easy things. I am not called to be comfortable. I am called to roll up my sleeves and wield the Sword of the Spirit and fight, for the victory has already been won.

Six Ways to Approach Your Nutrition Differently This Year

I’m not a fan of New Year’s resolutions. I haven’t been one for quite some time. I used to make them and would feel charged up just thinking about all the opportunities a new year held. But it never took long for the new car smell of it all to fade and I’d lose interest in my resolution and the possibilities.

An old friend reached out to me the other day on Facebook to ask about protein and meal replacement shakes. Although she never said the words “New Year’s resolution” I had a feeling that she was looking to start her new year differently than she has before. So rather than doing the whole online back and forth I called her up.

It wasn’t that my friend didn’t know anything about health and wellness. Quite the opposite. She was overwhelmed by all of her choices and just didn’t know where to start. Especially where nutrition is concened. So here are my top tips for approaching nutrition differently this year.

#1 Be Mindful

The first thing I recommend to people is to simply be more mindful when it comes to their intake. There are food journals, daily planners that include space for food stats, fitness journals, and of course in this day and age you know there are apps for that. Just recently I joined my friend Bobbi for her Holiday Shred and I found that even though I wasn’t tracking my nutritional stats I was able to lose five pounds. Mind you, my goal wasn’t to lose weight, but to maintain it over the holidays. I planned to do that by making dinner at least three times a week and by limiting treats to three times a week. Each Saturday when we checked in I was surprised to find that I either maintained or lost weight. It was such a blessing because I finally realized that obsessively tracking every micro and macro simply isn’t necessary. {If you are training for an event or entering a competition, these tips aren’t for you so stop shaking your head ;-)}

#2 Baby Steps, Baby Steps

We just watched “What About Bob” last night and I couldn’t resist using that line as a heading. Wanna make keeping track of your body’s reaction to your new way of eating easier? Make one small change at a time. Think “going Paleo” or primal sounds good? Or maybe that clean eating is the answer to all your problems? {It’s not by the way, but more on that later} Start small by eating more God food – fruits and veggies. Then reduce your intake of man food – stuff that comes in a box or through a window. And even then just focus on one or two things. Last January I stopped eating fried foods for the month. Not forever, just a month. I wasn’t trying to set myself up for failure. I do live in the South, after all. Now, when I choose to eat fried foods I’m able to listen to my body and put down the last bite before it does me in.

#3 Grace Trumps Legalism

Why didn’t I give up fried foods forever? Because although there is a lot of sound diet advice out there, I do not like the “eat this and not that” school of thought. It can get pretty legalistic pretty fast and turn into “eat this and only this and never ever eat that”. God intended food to give life through its nutrients and for it to add to the enjoyment of our lives by the sheer yumminess of it. Besides, legalism = feelings of deprivation and no one sticks with feeling deprived for long. In fact, when people feel deprived they tend to swing the pendulum back in the other direction and binge. Big time. No? Just me?

Fruits and Veggies

#4 A Clean Heart Is Better Than A Clean Diet

Speaking of grace, before I got off the phone with my friend I told her about Revelation Wellness and their next Clean Hearting Challenge. Wherever you are on your health and wellness journey, this challenge can be a real game changer. I participated in it last September and it really helped me strengthen the spirit link of the mind, body, spirit wholeness approach to health and healing. The next challenge starts tomorrow so you still have time to sign up before the midnight deadline!

#5 Shakes, Smoothies, and Juices – Oh My!

While I love shakes and smoothies, I do not recommend using them as meal replacements. Even if their ingredient list is full of real food and all the nutrients you need in one day. Nothing beats eating real food so start there. Once upon a time I just couldn’t seem to eat breakfast on a consistent basis. So I first started drinking shakes as my breakfast, not to replace the meal, but to form the habit of having it every day. Then, as I started teaching more group fitness classes I started eating a meal for breakfast and my daily shake as my “second breakfast” {not third or fourth, people – I’m not a hobbit people} Because I eat my breakfast so early in the morning I’m super hungry once nine o’clock rolls around. A shake makes a great second breakfast. It also makes a great afternoon snack or after dinner dessert.

I was so ready to join the juicing movement after I finished watching “Fat Sick and Nearly Dead” but didn’t feel worthy since I didn’t own a super cool blender. {What’s up Vitamix and Blendtec owners?} Besides, it seemed like a waste of money because I never used all the fruits and veggies I bought. Although I still don’t have a super high tech blender, I have found the perfect solution to the wasting fruits and veggies problem. Green Blender ships you enough ingredients to make ten juices/smoothies from the five recipes they include. No waste. None. I’ll be writing up a formal review later in the week, but no need to wait to use the code they shared with me. Just hop on over and enter “reina” when you check out.

#6 Fearfully And Wonderfully Made

I know that starting to eat better, or returning to eating healthier can be overwhelming. Even when someone gives you “easy to follow tips” like I tried to offer in this post. So I’ll leave you with this – you are perfectly imperfect, just the way God made you. I pray that as we journey to better health and greater wholeness that we invest in our bodies as vessels for His service. That we see our bodies as they are – fearfully and wonderfully made – and not fixer upper projects. Amen?

My Abundant Life: Celebrating Ten Years of Freedom

In November of 2005 I took the first step on a scary but necessary journey to “find myself”. I just giggled as I wrote that sentence because how cliche is that? But I guess it wasn’t entirely cliche, since I usually think of early 20-somethings setting out on such journeys and I was nearing my 30’s but still knew very little about myself. I mean I knew facts about myself, but I had no real sense of who I was. The core of my personality, my likes and dislikes – even my goals in life – hinged on who I was with. I was a chameleon who didn’t know my own true colors.

By the time December 31st of 2005 rolled around I was almost ready to take the next big step in my journey, which was to own up to the fact that I didn’t know what was best for me. As humbling as it was, the admission only made sense since I didn’t really know who I was. How could I possibly make wise decisions for myself? But it wasn’t until January 2, 2006 that I was ready to make this admission to anyone else.

The funny thing is, is that even then I was in no way ready to admit how lost I was – how desperate I was for God. But God is patient and I am so grateful that His timing is perfect. He let me experience exactly what I needed in order for me to get to a place where I would not only recognize my spiritual bankruptcy for what it was, but where I could be humbled enough to cry out to Him.

On this day, January 2nd, I celebrate the ten years I’ve been on this journey with God. The coolest part of my journey with Him may be that as I look back I can clearly see that He was walking with me long before I agreed to walk with Him. And I’m not just talking about the five months between January 2nd when I admitted I didn’t have it all together and the afternoon in May when I asked Him to be Lord of my life. I can look back over my life and see how He gently pursued me until I was ready to give Him all of me – my shame, my guilt, my fear, my insecurities, my hopes, my dreams, my identity.

Over the last ten years He has guided me through a series of surrenders – some deeper than others, but all helping me to see Him for who He is. And in turn, who I am in Him. I share all this to encourage you wherever you may be on your journey with God. He is just and He is merciful. He will pursue you until you are ready to accept His grace and love. And once you have surrendered your all to Him, He will not leave you but continue to walk with you.

Journey With God

“So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the LORD your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Dueteronomy 31:6 (NLT)

Things to Try in 2016

Looking Forward to 2016

If you’re anything like me your email inbox has been clogged with “How to make 2016 your best year ever!” subject lines. Maybe it’s because I follow a lot of fitness and mommy accounts but my Instagram feed is overflowing with invitations to join the next challenge group that will blast away my excuses and extra pounds. This post makes no such promises. Nope. I will not be promising that you’ll have a perfectly manicured life if you sign up for any of these services or buy any of these products. These are just some things I’ve read/done/eaten/tried this year and enjoyed (or plan to read/do/eat/try this coming year) that I wanted to share with you.

One Word by Jon Gordon, Dan Britton, and Jimmy Page. I shared about my One Word experiences last year and I can’t recommend going through the process enough. You can get a copy of the book here and if you’re not into pen and paper like I am you can purchase the Kindle version. It’s a super short read but worth the purchase price regardless of the format you decide to get. My word for 2016 is abide. I know it’s the perfect word for this year because I’ll be working on a pretty big God assignment and I’ll need to stay focused on the One who gave the assignment rather than all the directions I can run with it.

Breaking Busy: How to Find Peace & Purpose in a World of Crazy by Alli Worthington is one of the best books I’ve read this year. I started several book this year, but I read this one all the way through so that’s saying a lot. She mixes biblical principles, real life tips, humor, and humility so effortlessly I felt like we were just chatting over coffee. Well, she would be drinking coffee but I’d be drinking tea because I can’t stand coffee. We did in fact chat via Tweets as I was reading the book which was quite fun. I couldn’t help but jump on Twitter as I was reading because there were so many moments of “Oh, that’s so true!” and “That’s so simple it’s brilliant!” that I wanted to share. The book releases January 26th but you can pre-order a copy here. {I just read in the launch group that there will be pre-order goodies to be had, but I don’t have the details, yet. I’ll post an update here as soon as I get them.}

Grokker is an awesome streaming service that provides everything from cooking lessons to workout sessions – including yoga. You can stream on your mobile device or television via Chrome Cast (which is what I’ll be using), Apple TV, or HDMI cables. I learned about the service through FitFluential and recommend you visit their site if you plan to research all things health and fitness. What I’m most looking forward to with using Grokker? The FREE access to the Grokker experts. I will be starting my free trial this weekend. You can get yours here.

Green Blender is another health service I learned about thanks to FitFluential. Each week 5 recipes along with the pre-proportioned ingredients are delivered straight to your house. It’s enough to make 10 smoothies – two 12 oz smoothies per recipe. You can share one or drink a big 24 oz smoothie. I geeked out when I first learned about this service because back in September I stopped ordering a particular super smoothie and I’m down to my last full bag. I was starting to research other protein options but not seriously trying anything because the choices can be a little overwhelming. I was planning on using some of my Christmas money to try the service but this morning I got an email saying that as a FitFluential ambassador I was selected to get my first shipment free. Woo-woot! I even got this cool unique url for you to use in order to sign up. They run cool analytics to see how many people sign up using the link. I think. Because they also gave me a code to give you – reina. I know you use the code, just not totally sure about the link. Can you tell I’m new to this? My first box will arrive the week of January 7th and I’ll have a blog post dedicated to my thoughts on the 5 smoothie recipes up by the 15th.

Revelation Wellness Instructor Training I will be completing a process I started back in August of 2013. I finished all the online training and attended all of the phone based chats but was not able to attend the instructor retreat. I was pregnant with our twins and couldn’t afford to give up five days of leave. I needed every day to go towards maternity leave. Two years later I have some leave saved up and the boys – all of them including my husband – can survive me being gone for a week. I’m actually not so sure about that so I’ll probably be asking my parents to come out from California and help out. If you have ever felt God leading you in the direction of faith then fitness, you should definitely check out Revelation Wellness. If not as an instructor, then at least check out their Periscope account and their YouTube channel.

So, these are the things that have me looking forward to 2016. What about you? What do you want to try out in 2016?

Winning The Bathing Suit Battle

I wrote this as a contributor for Veva Health.

I didn’t want to share this picture. In fact, I promised myself I would never share progress pictures or photos of me in a bathing suit. Never ever.

Cropped Splash Pad Photo

Even as God was tugging on my heart to share it, I couldn’t bring myself to post it on Instagram. I was relieved in an odd sort of way when I realized God meant for me to share it here, with the Veva community. Although I’m new to Veva as a contributor, I have been reading the content for some time, and it feels like a safe place to share scary stuff. You know, the kind of stuff that we surrender to God, only to pick it up again and again. The kind of stuff that we’re hesitant to share with others, but so relieved when we finally do, and they say, “Me too!”

As a middle school teacher I do not get to participate in many play-dates during the year—they are usually scheduled for weekdays. So, this summer I jumped at the opportunity to go meet up with some ladies from my Moms of Multiples group at a local Splash Pad. I didn’t give much thought to what I was going to wear until people started posting questions and comments online. Even after I planned to wear my tankini with khaki shorts, I overlooked the fact that I had to get into the water with the twins. Bottom line, at some point either the shorts were getting wet or coming off. Wearing a wet bathing suit home is one thing, but wet clothes is just uncomfortable. My third option was to keep my shorts on while the twins and I chilled on the grass and watched everyone else splash in the water. My play-date at the Splash Pad taught three very important lessons.

Lesson 1: I will not sit on the sidelines of my own life

I wasn’t about to not take the boys onto the splash pad. Instead, I opted to bare my legs for all to see. For a moment, I wondered if the other moms thought that as a fitness instructor with sixteen month olds that I should be more fit or toned by now. But, God lovingly revealed those thoughts to be lies from the enemy, so I sent them back to where they came from, Hell. Being present and active in my own life, and experiencing a first with the boys didn’t give me time to be consumed by body image issues. Their joy (Andrew) and trepidation (Michael) forced me to get out of my head and live in the moment, and what an enjoyable moment it was. Well, except for the time when some kids accidentally sprayed water directly into our faces. But even that was kind of funny.

Lesson 2: I will capture the memories

I experienced horrible pregnancy acne with the boys. It was so bad I avoided having my picture taken and used as many filters as possible when it was unavoidable. I regret not taking more pictures to document my ever-expanding belly. God reminded me of that regret as the boys and I were getting ready to dry off. I asked my dad to take a picture of us and trusted that in the years to come I would focus on our faces more than my thighs.

Lesson 3: I will step out in faith

I was shocked and confused when God first prompted me to share this photo. He knew about my promise and He knew the reasons behind it. And yet, He nudged me to share it. He gently told me to get over myself. That sharing the picture really wasn’t about me, but about giving other women permission—permission to get off the sidelines of life, to create memories and capture them without worrying about thigh gaps or giggly squishy bits, and permission to fearlessly be the women He has called us to be. As uncomfortable as I was sharing this picture and the accompanying story, it was incredibly freeing to do so. I love how faithful God is to use all things for the good of those who love and obey Him. There is no greater reward than freedom through grace.

I pray that you will join me in doing and sharing some scary stuff to bless others with the relief of “Me too!” Use #lovebeyondlooks and #vevavida on social media to share your “Me too!” moments. If you want to win the bathing suit battle, check out our Bible study on body image: Love Beyond Looks.

What scary challenges have you faced lately?

How has God spoken to you?

Made to Crave: 21 Day FOCUS

Deeper Surrender

Have you ever found yourself surrendering an area of your life to God, again? That’s where I currently find myself where food is concerned. Specifically sugar and junk food. I’ve gone around this mountain so many times, it’s tiring.

I really thought the last time was just that, the last time. I climbed up the mountain with the Lord as my guide, victoriously put His flag in the peak of the mountain, and put my hands on my hips with my hair blowing in the wind as the Rocky theme music played behind me.

I thought I had won.

Then two years ago I got pregnant with my twin boys. My mindset had to drastically shift from eating clean to eating enough. Three thousand calories per day is not an easy feat. People would find out about my new diet goal and say “Man, I’d love to be able to eat that many calories every day!” I’d look at them, shaking my head. At first I tried to hold on to my clean eating ways. Then the protein cravings kicked in. Big time. I really should have bought stock in Wendy’s. For real. Although the people in the drive-thru didn’t know my name, they definitely knew me. I’d pull up to the windows and be greeted with “Hey! How are you doing? How are the twins doing?” For real.

During the first trimester the Floyd Twins did not like man made sugar so sweets weren’t an issue until the second trimester. And although adding sweets into the mix made it easier to get closer to my daily caloric goal, I usually still fell short.

Fast forward to today. The boys are about to be 15 months old, and I’m still eating like I’m pregnant. Not as many calories, but no where near as clean as I once did. Although on a very real spiritual level I know that I have been delivered from my sugar addiction, the simple truth is that my brain has been rewired. And not for the better.

A Little Help From My Friends

So I’ve decided to circle this mountain again. I’m going to pick up Lysa Terkuerst’s “Made to Crave”, an awesome book that God used in a mighty way to free me from sugar addiction nearly three years ago, along with the book’s 21 day devotional and climb back up the mountain. But this time I’m bringing some friends with me. I’m teaming up with my sister in ministry, Amia, to participate in the annual inneractive FITCLUB Swimsuit Confidence Challenge. The theme of this year’s challenge is “Made to Crave”.

What Is the Challenge?

Spiritual motivation, group accountability, nutritional support, and fitness challenges. We will be getting rid of all the necessary junk we’ve been carrying around {Hebrews 12:1}, the cravings that distract us from what we’re really longing for.

What Will I Do When I Accept This Challenge?

You will not be “going on a diet”. We’ll be offering healthy, doable eating options, not strict eating plans that you’ll quit as soon as you think no one is watching. There’s no freedom in counting calories and macros every day of your life. Besides, if you’ve got a family you’ll want to model health and wholeness for your husband, and kids if you have them.

You will:

Attempt the daily challenges (fitness, spiritual motivation, photo of the day, healthy food swap, stop drop and chug, etc) posted on the challenge page (details given in the weekly email).
Share your journey. Blog about it, Tweet it, post on Facebook, share on Instagram, or pin it on Pinterest. You don’t have to post a before/after photo, but you can if you want to. You can post about your goals (specific and measurable) and post updates.
Be actively involved. inneractive FITCLUB is a community of women who motivate and encourage one another while holding each other accountable to the goals we’ve each set.
Commit to working out at least 3 days a week. The daily fitness challenges can be incorporated however you like. They can be your work out, supplement your already existing fitness regimen, or not done at all.
Choose your scriptural anchor. This is what you will meditate on to get you beyond the stuff that’s been hindering and tripping you up.
Stay focused by interacting via social media:
- Use the hashtag #CravingGod
- Follow fellow participants
- Follow hosts Reina and Amia (find Amia’s info when you sign up for the challenge)
  - Facebook
  - Twitter
  - Instagram
  - Pinterest

How Do I Join the Challenge?

Head on over to inneractive FITCLUB to sign up for the weekly email.

I can’t wait to walk alongside you on our journey up this mountain to health and wholeness!

Finish the Work

I used to think that the phrase “Jack of all trades, but an ace of none” suited me perfectly. The truth is, though (sticking with the analogy) that I’m more the queen of starting many things but finishing few. I look around my house and see unfinished books. Lots of them. Logging into the dashboard of this blog shows more unfinished drafts than I care to count. I held on to the paper bunnies from our sons’ first daycare room just in case I ever get around to decorating it with things they liked when they started attending the daycare. In August. Of last year.

That’s the story of my life. Great intentions but inconsistent follow through. When I get honest it comes down to a fear of failure. What if I fail at implementing all of the tips and life lessons an author shares with me? What if I pour my heart out in a blog post and it resonates with absolutely no one? What if I muster up all the craftiness I can and the family collage I create for the twins is an epic Pinterest fail?

So my solution over the years has been to halfway do something. Either give a halfhearted effort by procrastinating to the point of having to rush to complete something or letting my interest in a project wane until I have an “Eh, oh well…” kind of attitude.

Wanting to do life differently, I looked over my One Word for the past three years and prayed over my word for 2015. I joined the One Word party late in 2012. My word for that year was INTENTIONAL. I wanted to be more intentional with my time and more present with my husband and son. In 2013 my word was STEWARD. I prayed that God would help me be a better steward of everything He’s gifted me – especially my time, my body, and our home- and then expand my territory. But God has a serious sense of humor. He expanded my territory by blessing me with twins before helping me with managing my priorities. I guess He knows me better than I know myself and knew that I learn best when it’s a sink or swim scenario. I can’t remember what my word for 2014 was. I know it was a year marked by lots and lots of GRACE, though.

After much reflection and prayer, God gave me FINISH as my word for 2015. Finish the assignments God has given me over the years but I pushed aside saying “There’s someone better for that, Lord.” Finish all of the books I started but put down. Finish the decluttering and organizing projects I’ve started over the years but walked away from when I felt too overwhelmed. Finish the small but meaningful projects I promised to do for friends but never got around to completing.

I started out 2015 with the intention of finishing everything I started and even going through unfinished tasks and tackling those as well. But then I ran head first into the reason why I struggle with finishing in the first place. Fear of not completing a task perfectly. It’s not as though I wasn’t aware of this issue. I just naively thought that I could forge ahead with FINISH as my sword, when I really needed to allow God to attack the lie of perfection on my behalf with His grace.

While I set out to finish reading books (my plan was to alternate between one I had started and put down with a new read) and projects around the house, God had other plans. He started performing surgery to remove the deeply imbedded lie of perfection from my heart, and showing me that I’m not alone. I’m not the only believer sidelined by a bruised ego, too afraid or weary to go another round with the unrealistic taskmaster that is perfection.

With God’s prodding and guidance, I started putting the Finish the Work challenge together. I knew it was going to be a social media campaign, so I didn’t really see the need to write anything out. But knowing recovering perfectionists the way I do, I knew that people would want something tangible to refer to as needed. It isn’t super complicated, but I created a PDF file so people wouldn’t have to search through blog posts to find it. Who am I kidding? I don’t post that much content.

I wanted to share my #100DaysofFTW “to finish” list with you. It’s a comittment to spend at least 10 minutes a day (no more than 20) for 10 days on one thing.

Finish “The Best Yes”
Read “Do Over”
Drink more water*
Drink Shakeology*
Clean out my closet
Read Trim Healthy Mama
20 min morning prayer walk
Clean and organize office
Write in the boys’ baby books
Move content from Catalyst Movement to Faith Fitness and Mommy Stuff and relaunch FFMS

*I’m hoping that after 10 days this will be easy to incorporate into my daily living routine

I spent way too much time on Canva creating the Finish the Work images and couldn’t decide which version I liked better so I decided to use both.

becoming myself

I don’t remember when I picked up my first copy of Stasi Eldredge’s becoming myself: embracing God’s dream of you. Funny, I remember where I bought it, but not when. Also, I’m pretty certain that I picked it up because I misread the title as God’s dream for you. For the past five years I’ve been torn between wanting to go into full time student ministry working full time as a teacher. Although I have accepted that teaching middle school is boot camp for God’s next assignment for me, I would be lying if I said there weren’t times that I desperately want to speed up the timetable so I can walk into God’s dream for me.

Like so many other books I have bought over the years, becoming myself went untouched. (I have a list of books to finish in 2015) Then last month, as a Family Christian Blogger, I learned of an opportunity to receive both the book and the accompanying eight session DVD. I didn’t even know there was a DVD that went along with the book. I’m not saying that I would have already read the book had I known, but just maybe. It wasn’t until I received the book and DVD did I remember I already owned the book. The memorable book cover had me searching through my library to confirm my suspicion that I had not only seen it before but walked by it several times in my own home.

As a mother of infant twins and a seven year old, I do not have the luxury of pleasure reading like I did before I had kids. What I do have though, is my morning time. It isn’t as sacred as I’d like it to be, as it is often sacrificed in order to get my oldest to school on time. And when I get to have it, reading a book is the last thing I do during that time. I pray, read short devotionals, pray some more, and then read. I say all that in hopes that you won’t judge me when I tell you I’m only about to start reading Chapter 4. Seriously. Although I thought I was cured from caring what others think about me, blogging and reading this book have made me keenly aware of my ever present desire to be accepted by others – especially women.

My friend Amia and I always talk about how you can’t help people if you haven’t walked through whatever it is they’re struggling with. And although you can commiserate with your friend if you’re still in that place, two people in a pit are still in the pit. One of the goals of Catalyst Movement – the dream God gave me for a girl centered ministry – is for girls to love one another as they learn to love themselves. I know that God brought my attention back to this book so I can work through some stuff so I can better lead girls into a life of freedom and wholeness.