freedom – Faith Fitness and Mommy Stuff

Make Jesus Lord

I love hearing from God. I like it when He gives me words of encouragement to give to friends via text, a phone call, or in person. My favorite is when it comes out of the blue. When I haven’t talked to the friend in a minute and God tells me to reach out and give them a particular message. It’s my favorite scenario because without fail, even though the message seems out of the blue to me, it’s right on topic and right on time for the friend who hears it.

I love hearing from God. Most of the time.

I don’t particularly like hearing from God when the message He asks me to share feels like sandpaper. You know, the kind of message that doesn’t quite line up with the idea we have of God that we sometimes worship instead of worshiping Him as the King of kings and Lord of lords that He is.

I’ve been reading through the Old Testament (one of my goals for the year is to read through the Bible) and somewhere between 1 Samuel and 1 Kings, God started to speak a message to be shared. I’m not sure how God talks to other people, but when He gives me revelation it’s as though He has downloaded the information in such a way that I can see the forest and the individual trees at the same time. Unfortunately, I am not God and I am not able to convey information the same way.

Oftentimes, when I share a message – especially a sandpaper message – I get distracted by the message and trip over my own words trying to explain what God meant like He needs an interpreter or a public defender. He doesn’t. And I know this, but it doesn’t make the delivery any easier.

So, here I am trying to share a sandpaper message as plainly as I can.

American doesn’t need to focus on being great again. As a nation, the United States needs to focus on making Jesus Lord. I asked God, “Oh, like Make Jesus Lord Again, instead of Make America Great Again?” I wasn’t trying to be cute with Him, but I did think it was a clever presumption. He said that saying that America needed to make Jesus Lord again implied that He was Lord at some point. Ouch.

He brought me back to 2 Samuel when the people of Israel are pleading with God to have a king rule over them. Samuel makes it very clear to them what life will be like with a king ruling over Israel and he implores them to instead turn to God and allow Him to be their King. But they do not heed his warning and instead continue to make their case for having an earthly king.

It’s easy to shake one’s head when reading the history of the Israelites and completely overlook the fact that we too put too many expectations on and hopes in human leaders. Humanity cannot cure what ails humanity, namely our sinful nature. Only God can do that. And yet, we place unrealistic expectations on one another, including our local, state, and national leaders.

And here’s the thing, the United States of America is not a Christian nation. It is a nation that has Christians living within its borders, but it isn’t a Christian nation the way the nation of Israel was a nation of the twelve tribes of Israel. I know this. But still, as believers, as followers of Christ, we have the power to intercede on behalf of believers and non-believers alike.

“Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:14

I have tried to write this post over the past couple of months but stopped for fear that people might interpret it as being an indictment of a controversy within the current administration. Unfortunately, the controversies seem to come and go so quickly, I had to post this out of obedience and let go of the possibility that someone could misinterpret this as being related to the most current controversy at the time of making the post public.

I usually like to tie my posts up in a nice bow, wrapping everything all together, even if it’s just with a quote. But I don’t have a bow for this post. While we live in a great country, it is not perfect. Not the government, not the citizens. I pray that we, as followers of Christ, would lead the charge in knocking down the altars we’ve set up for the idols of country, political party, and politicians. Our hope is in Christ alone.

Move In Love

“For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.” 2 Timothy 1:7

Revelation Wellness®Instructor Training Retreat — Photo by Raint Photography

Every move we make – every thought and decision – is rooted in either fear or love. And it’s way too easy to root our physical movements, namely our workouts, in fear. It’s kind of our go to motivation when it comes to fitness, isn’t it? My good friend, and MOMENT’em sister, Kasey Schuler posted about body shame this week using a BINGO card and she reminded me just how true this is. Out of fear of having to fill a row or two on the imaginary Body Shame Bingo card we’ll put in extra sweat equity.

Here’s the thing. I am so over moving because I’m afraid. I spent the better part of my 20’s doing that. Working out for hours in hopes of gaining/keeping the attention of a man. In my late 20’s I met and married a man who God used to help me overcome much of that fear and insecurity. But if I’m honest, I started getting caught up in it again the summer I got pregnant with the twins. I was the fittest I had been in my adult life but there was always another goal to reach. And those goals weren’t rooted in love, gratitude, joy, or freedom.

I was caught up in a side of the fitness industry that insists that the only way to be successful is to be a “product of the product”. So I thought I needed to continuously improve my physique. I look back at the pictures from the summer of 2013, shake my head as I remember where my heart was and wish I could have simply enjoyed the health God had blessed me with.

It’s funny, because this summer I wore a bikini for the first time knowing I wasn’t “beach ready” and was totally okay with it. Too much has happened over the years for me to point to one thing that shifted my motivation from fear to love. But I’ll tell you this much, my body was broken for my twins and it will never be the same. So when I move, I choose to do so as an outpouring of gratitude that I can move at all.

In a couple of weeks I’ll start teaching early morning Revelation Fitness® classes because I’m on a mission to help others move in love instead of fear. To move as a “get to” instead of a “have to”. If you live in the Columbia area I would love for you to join us! If you’re not local to our new Irmo class, check out live classes here. Can’t find one, or live classes just aren’t your thing? You can stream videos via RevWell TV.

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.” 1 John 4:18

Open Letter To The Church: Sin Is Sin, So Why The Double Standard?

I was scrolling through my Facebook feed this morning and clicked on an article a friend shared. It was about this pastor Rob Bell and the apparent backlash he endured when he, according to the article “asked some questions about reconciling eternal punishment with a loving God, and he examined matters of life and faith that had become foregone conclusions to most believers.” I haven’t read Love Wins so I can’t speak to what questions Bell asked within its pages.

While I was reading the article, I felt the Spirit of God stirring within me. Setting off red flags and sounding warning alarms. At first I shrugged off His warnings, assuming I just didn’t like the author’s voice. But as I continued to read I couldn’t ignore the warnings any longer and I had to admit that something was just off – theologically speaking.

I nodded in agreement with several sentiments, mainly those pointing out that Christians have the tendency to label and ostracize people they don’t agree with rather than having tough conversations. It’s so much easier to just write someone off than to wade into the uncomfortable. But it felt like the author, in a way, was doing the same thing with the Christians who “abandoned” Bell. He labeled them intolerant and went on to explain why Bell was a brave theologian asking the tough questions.

But never once did the author call out the elephant in the room. Bell wasn’t simply innocently asking questions. He was preaching universalism, which is the belief that everyone will be saved because of God’s unconditional love. Um, nope. I finished the article, taking away that God was reminding me of the importance of guarding my heart. I figured it was a teachable moment and that was that.

But God pressed deeper into my heart as I was preparing to shower. He does this on the regular. I’m fairly certain it’s because it’s one of the few opportunities for me to be free of distractions. As I was about to get into the shower He asked a seemingly random question, “Why did everyone commend Lysa Terkeurst’s strength and faith while so many of those same people commended Glennon Doyle Martin’s bravery for being true to herself?”

I hadn’t given much thought to either situations in quite some time, and certainly not that morning. If you’re not familiar with either of these women, Lysa is a Biblical teacher and speaker, and Glennon is a Christian mommy blogger and author. Lysa recently announced that she is leaving her husband because of his ongoing infidelity and refusal to put his vows before the desires of his flesh. Back in August of 2016 Glennon announced that she was leaving her husband of 14 years for her close friend – a female friend.

When God asked me that seemingly random question, I did what I often do with His questions that seem to come out of left field. I confessed my confusion. So He asked me, “Why would people grieve with someone who has suffered at the hands of an adulterer when they cheered on an adulterer just a few short months ago?” The only thing I could think of was that the people who spoke out in support of Glennon weren’t supporting the adultery, but her decision to live the “lifestyle” that honored her true self. God immediately pointed out that it’s not our call, especially not for those of us who wave the flag of Christianity. We don’t get to decide which adulterous act is acceptable and which is not. He drove His point home by telling me, “Anyone could have come to Art Terkeurst’s defense with the same statement – he was making a decision to honor his true self.” Ouch.

“God alone, who gave the law, is the Judge. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to judge your neighbor?” – James 4:12 (NLT)

But here’s the truth God reminded me of – just as we are not to judge, we are also not to pardon either. The Judgement Seat isn’t ours to sit in. At. All.

So, if we are not called to judge others, what are we called to do? First, God calls us to love one another. And by “one another” He is saying that His followers must love one another. (John 13:34-35) We get into trouble when we love according to the world’s standard instead of God’s. In love, we will tell someone to follow his heart, to do what she thinks is best, to be true to himself. Unless we are simultaneously pointing people to the Truth, we are co-signing their self-indulgent ways. We are telling them it is okay to idolize self. God calls us to love people in truth, and to speak the truth over people in love. Tim Keller put it so succinctly I won’t bother trying to paraphrase his words.

“Love without truth is sentimentality; it supports and affirms us but keeps us in denial about our flaws. Truth without love is harshness; it gives us information but in such a way that we cannot really hear it. God’s saving love in Christ, however, is marked by both radical truthfulness about who we are and yet also radical, unconditional commitment to us. The merciful commitment strengthen us to see the truth about yourselves and repent. The conviction and repentance moves us to cling to and rest in God’s mercy and grace.”

Here’s the thing, you and I can’t do this with people we don’t know. I mean, we can try to on a superficial surface level kind of way. But that doesn’t do anyone any good. Unfortunately, all things social media invite us to start and join conversations that are meant to be had on a very personal level. It may be safer for us to “talk” to someone through a screen, but God doesn’t call us to safe.

He calls us to have authentic relationship with our fellow believers, even though relationships are messy and uncomfortable. But we are messy and broken people. We may be saved but we are still wrapped in flesh. And flesh rubbing against flesh is anything but comfortable.

Should people who walk away from the straight and narrow road be ostracized, or commended for being true to their true self? Neither. God encourages us to confront our brothers and sisters, first on a one-on-one level, then with another believer, and a group of believers if needed. Waving goodbye to someone or wishing them the best as they walk away from The Way is not what God calls us to do. (Matthew 18:15-17)

Comfortable With The Uncomfortable

I wrote this a few months ago. I never did feel led to put in a photo. Instead I went with a verse. I’m not sure why God asked me to share this, but I trust that it will resonate with someone out there.

No graphics or photos for this post. I don’t know, maybe as I go through my day God will give me a visual to share. But right now, right this moment He’s telling me to just share my heart.

Yesterday a dear sister in Christ texted me a link to a video from the Leading and Loving It #JustONE2016 virtual conference. I’m not sure what day it was from, but it was good. Like brush off the dust of complacency and do some work for the kingdom, good. Work I have been too _______ (fill in the blank – tired, busy, lazy) to do. I’m not talking projects here, either. I’m talking about the work of boldly living out my faith. Declaring His truth whenever and wherever I feel His Spirit leading me to.

Here are some of the notes I jotted down, and you can watch the video here for yourself.

Get going – say YES to God without knowing the details, especially the outcome. Move when He says to and move with urgency.
Get strategic – be aware, be intentional, and be sensitive. Pay attention to people’s details.
Get uncomfortable – God calls me to serve and wash feet.

After watching that video I decided to sign up for the conference – funny, I thought I already had signed up but I guess that was last year – and watch all of the videos. They’re sent directly to my inbox so there’s no extra clicking on my part. The Day 1 video arrived this morning and I couldn’t really relate it to my current season of life. Lori Wilhite talks about God trading our junk for joy, our hurt for healing, and our pain for purpose. Believe me, I’ve had plenty of junk, hurt, and pain. Enough to last a lifetime. But as of this morning I had no current junk, hurt, or pain to reflect on. {Or so I thought} I still looked up Isaiah 60:17, the verse she was focusing on, and took notes. I even added personal reflections to each of her three points.

I could feel God stirring something up within me, and knew He was telling me it was time to dig deeper. Back in early January I signed up for my second ‪#‎cleanhearting‬ challenge to support the amazing ministry of Revelation Wellness. I wasn’t planning on going through the challenge again. I figured I’d watch Alisa Keeton on Periscope when I could or pull up a scope on Katch.

But I started experiencing heartburn a couple of weeks ago and it hasn’t let up. Heartburn is only something I dealt with during pregnancy. And before you ask, no, I am not pregnant. At first I was in denial, blaming the one meal that might have triggered it. But then I got still and quiet long enough (after several days of refusing to listen to my body) to see that the discomfort is God lovingly nudging me. Nudging me to look at my habits and idols.

So when I had finished watching the Day 1 #JustONE2016 video, I decided to read the Day 1 email for he Clean Hearting Challenge to do just that. To identify and confront the idols and habits that are keeping me from doing the kingdom building work God is calling me to do. Day 1 seemed easy enough – looking at the root of our desire to live clean, a desire God created us to have because we were made in His image and He is clean and blameless. Looking at Alisa’s very simple and straight forward definition of clean eating – avoid refined and processed foods and eat real food – was just the “Dude, I can do this” moment I needed.

And the let’s do this attitude wasn’t just about the eating either – and that’s the whole point behind the Clean Hearting Challenge, by the way, to pull off the blinders and see that it’s all about the condition of our hearts. It’s about treating myself better by eating life giving foods more often than fake foods, by getting more sleep, and by moving more. And moms out there, please hear me when I say that none of those goals are selfish. When I take better care of myself, I am better able to love the people God calls me to serve and love. And so are you.

The notion of loving people better got me thinking about February being the perfect month to practice being more intentional in my marriage. So I took The Husband Project: 21 Days of Loving Your man on Purpose and with a Plan off a shelf and started reading it. But right when I was getting to the “meat” of the first chapter it was time to get the boys ready for church.

Just a typical Sunday morning. Until it wasn’t. I got the twins dressed and fed. They were happily playing with our oldest until I had to go upstairs and get dressed and my husband out of bed. As I was getting ready he told me that he decided to sleep in and not to come to church. I was fine with that since he doesn’t sleep in very often. But a small disagreement with our oldest turned into something much bigger not only between the two of us but also between me and my husband. Before I knew it voices were raised and doors were slammed. And to top it all off one of the twins was refusing to get buckled into his car seat. I wanted to cry. And I did.

In spite of my feelings and the tears streaming down my face I went to church. Well, not exactly. The truth is I no longer wanted to go to church. I didn’t know what I wanted to do – I just knew I didn’t want to go. I almost marched everyone out of the minivan and back into the house, but I inadvertently locked the basement door when I slammed it and didn’t have a key to get back in.

So I drove us to church and apologized to my oldest on the way. I apologized for my tone and for slamming the car and house doors. He accepted my apology, because that’s what we do in our house. We humble ourselves to apologize, and we humble ourselves to forgive.

As soon as our junior pastor started preaching I knew that God meant for me to experience what I did this morning so I could really listen to his message. Not just hear it, but listen to it. His message was anchored in Job. It was such an encouragement from my Daddy. It was a reminder that when I make a kingdom declaration – like I did today saying that I was ready to do kingdom building work – that I will be met with opposition. I just forgot how quickly it can happen.

Today I spent some intentional time with God, and shortly thereafter the enemy came at me. Hard. He attacked my marriage and my motherhood. I wanted to throw up my hands and throw in the towel. But as a daughter of the King of kings I must remember that I am not called to do the easy things. I am not called to be comfortable. I am called to roll up my sleeves and wield the Sword of the Spirit and fight, for the victory has already been won.

My Abundant Life: Celebrating Ten Years of Freedom

In November of 2005 I took the first step on a scary but necessary journey to “find myself”. I just giggled as I wrote that sentence because how cliche is that? But I guess it wasn’t entirely cliche, since I usually think of early 20-somethings setting out on such journeys and I was nearing my 30’s but still knew very little about myself. I mean I knew facts about myself, but I had no real sense of who I was. The core of my personality, my likes and dislikes – even my goals in life – hinged on who I was with. I was a chameleon who didn’t know my own true colors.

By the time December 31st of 2005 rolled around I was almost ready to take the next big step in my journey, which was to own up to the fact that I didn’t know what was best for me. As humbling as it was, the admission only made sense since I didn’t really know who I was. How could I possibly make wise decisions for myself? But it wasn’t until January 2, 2006 that I was ready to make this admission to anyone else.

The funny thing is, is that even then I was in no way ready to admit how lost I was – how desperate I was for God. But God is patient and I am so grateful that His timing is perfect. He let me experience exactly what I needed in order for me to get to a place where I would not only recognize my spiritual bankruptcy for what it was, but where I could be humbled enough to cry out to Him.

On this day, January 2nd, I celebrate the ten years I’ve been on this journey with God. The coolest part of my journey with Him may be that as I look back I can clearly see that He was walking with me long before I agreed to walk with Him. And I’m not just talking about the five months between January 2nd when I admitted I didn’t have it all together and the afternoon in May when I asked Him to be Lord of my life. I can look back over my life and see how He gently pursued me until I was ready to give Him all of me – my shame, my guilt, my fear, my insecurities, my hopes, my dreams, my identity.

Over the last ten years He has guided me through a series of surrenders – some deeper than others, but all helping me to see Him for who He is. And in turn, who I am in Him. I share all this to encourage you wherever you may be on your journey with God. He is just and He is merciful. He will pursue you until you are ready to accept His grace and love. And once you have surrendered your all to Him, He will not leave you but continue to walk with you.

Journey With God

“So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the LORD your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Dueteronomy 31:6 (NLT)

Things to Try in 2016

Looking Forward to 2016

If you’re anything like me your email inbox has been clogged with “How to make 2016 your best year ever!” subject lines. Maybe it’s because I follow a lot of fitness and mommy accounts but my Instagram feed is overflowing with invitations to join the next challenge group that will blast away my excuses and extra pounds. This post makes no such promises. Nope. I will not be promising that you’ll have a perfectly manicured life if you sign up for any of these services or buy any of these products. These are just some things I’ve read/done/eaten/tried this year and enjoyed (or plan to read/do/eat/try this coming year) that I wanted to share with you.

One Word by Jon Gordon, Dan Britton, and Jimmy Page. I shared about my One Word experiences last year and I can’t recommend going through the process enough. You can get a copy of the book here and if you’re not into pen and paper like I am you can purchase the Kindle version. It’s a super short read but worth the purchase price regardless of the format you decide to get. My word for 2016 is abide. I know it’s the perfect word for this year because I’ll be working on a pretty big God assignment and I’ll need to stay focused on the One who gave the assignment rather than all the directions I can run with it.

Breaking Busy: How to Find Peace & Purpose in a World of Crazy by Alli Worthington is one of the best books I’ve read this year. I started several book this year, but I read this one all the way through so that’s saying a lot. She mixes biblical principles, real life tips, humor, and humility so effortlessly I felt like we were just chatting over coffee. Well, she would be drinking coffee but I’d be drinking tea because I can’t stand coffee. We did in fact chat via Tweets as I was reading the book which was quite fun. I couldn’t help but jump on Twitter as I was reading because there were so many moments of “Oh, that’s so true!” and “That’s so simple it’s brilliant!” that I wanted to share. The book releases January 26th but you can pre-order a copy here. {I just read in the launch group that there will be pre-order goodies to be had, but I don’t have the details, yet. I’ll post an update here as soon as I get them.}

Grokker is an awesome streaming service that provides everything from cooking lessons to workout sessions – including yoga. You can stream on your mobile device or television via Chrome Cast (which is what I’ll be using), Apple TV, or HDMI cables. I learned about the service through FitFluential and recommend you visit their site if you plan to research all things health and fitness. What I’m most looking forward to with using Grokker? The FREE access to the Grokker experts. I will be starting my free trial this weekend. You can get yours here.

Green Blender is another health service I learned about thanks to FitFluential. Each week 5 recipes along with the pre-proportioned ingredients are delivered straight to your house. It’s enough to make 10 smoothies – two 12 oz smoothies per recipe. You can share one or drink a big 24 oz smoothie. I geeked out when I first learned about this service because back in September I stopped ordering a particular super smoothie and I’m down to my last full bag. I was starting to research other protein options but not seriously trying anything because the choices can be a little overwhelming. I was planning on using some of my Christmas money to try the service but this morning I got an email saying that as a FitFluential ambassador I was selected to get my first shipment free. Woo-woot! I even got this cool unique url for you to use in order to sign up. They run cool analytics to see how many people sign up using the link. I think. Because they also gave me a code to give you – reina. I know you use the code, just not totally sure about the link. Can you tell I’m new to this? My first box will arrive the week of January 7th and I’ll have a blog post dedicated to my thoughts on the 5 smoothie recipes up by the 15th.

Revelation Wellness Instructor Training I will be completing a process I started back in August of 2013. I finished all the online training and attended all of the phone based chats but was not able to attend the instructor retreat. I was pregnant with our twins and couldn’t afford to give up five days of leave. I needed every day to go towards maternity leave. Two years later I have some leave saved up and the boys – all of them including my husband – can survive me being gone for a week. I’m actually not so sure about that so I’ll probably be asking my parents to come out from California and help out. If you have ever felt God leading you in the direction of faith then fitness, you should definitely check out Revelation Wellness. If not as an instructor, then at least check out their Periscope account and their YouTube channel.

So, these are the things that have me looking forward to 2016. What about you? What do you want to try out in 2016?

Trust But Verify

God has been giving me some very uncomfortable assignments lately, and this post is one of them. I trust that obedience is better than sacrifice.

The Pope’s recent visit to the States got me thinking about my own journey with God and organized religion. {I was really tempted to make a Grateful Dead reference but thought better of it}

I left the church when I was very young. I held a lot of resentment against God. At least I thought my anger, frustration, and disappointment had to do with God. It turns out that all of the things I didn’t like about church were things that weren’t in God’s Word. Well, some of them were, but they were antiquated practices that we could let go of because we were under the new covenant. Again, I did not learn this until I was much older. After I had stopped running from God and was simply too tired to be mad at Him anymore.

I share all this because God put it on my heart to do so. To say that it’s great that the Pope’s visit stirred up some feels in lots of people. And to say, be aware of the feels. If someone, anyone, says something that stirs up feelings of shame, guilt, or condemnation, check what they said against the Word of God. If His Word supports what they said, that’s called conviction. If it isn’t, that’s from the enemy.

And on the flipside of that, if someone says something that stirs up feelings of “I can do whatever I want”, check what they said against the Word of God. If His Word supports what they said, walk in that freedom. If it doesn’t, be wary of the enemy luring you into sin like the pied piper.

Remember, God is the ultimate authority in our lives.

Winning The Bathing Suit Battle

I wrote this as a contributor for Veva Health.

I didn’t want to share this picture. In fact, I promised myself I would never share progress pictures or photos of me in a bathing suit. Never ever.

Cropped Splash Pad Photo

Even as God was tugging on my heart to share it, I couldn’t bring myself to post it on Instagram. I was relieved in an odd sort of way when I realized God meant for me to share it here, with the Veva community. Although I’m new to Veva as a contributor, I have been reading the content for some time, and it feels like a safe place to share scary stuff. You know, the kind of stuff that we surrender to God, only to pick it up again and again. The kind of stuff that we’re hesitant to share with others, but so relieved when we finally do, and they say, “Me too!”

As a middle school teacher I do not get to participate in many play-dates during the year—they are usually scheduled for weekdays. So, this summer I jumped at the opportunity to go meet up with some ladies from my Moms of Multiples group at a local Splash Pad. I didn’t give much thought to what I was going to wear until people started posting questions and comments online. Even after I planned to wear my tankini with khaki shorts, I overlooked the fact that I had to get into the water with the twins. Bottom line, at some point either the shorts were getting wet or coming off. Wearing a wet bathing suit home is one thing, but wet clothes is just uncomfortable. My third option was to keep my shorts on while the twins and I chilled on the grass and watched everyone else splash in the water. My play-date at the Splash Pad taught three very important lessons.

Lesson 1: I will not sit on the sidelines of my own life

I wasn’t about to not take the boys onto the splash pad. Instead, I opted to bare my legs for all to see. For a moment, I wondered if the other moms thought that as a fitness instructor with sixteen month olds that I should be more fit or toned by now. But, God lovingly revealed those thoughts to be lies from the enemy, so I sent them back to where they came from, Hell. Being present and active in my own life, and experiencing a first with the boys didn’t give me time to be consumed by body image issues. Their joy (Andrew) and trepidation (Michael) forced me to get out of my head and live in the moment, and what an enjoyable moment it was. Well, except for the time when some kids accidentally sprayed water directly into our faces. But even that was kind of funny.

Lesson 2: I will capture the memories

I experienced horrible pregnancy acne with the boys. It was so bad I avoided having my picture taken and used as many filters as possible when it was unavoidable. I regret not taking more pictures to document my ever-expanding belly. God reminded me of that regret as the boys and I were getting ready to dry off. I asked my dad to take a picture of us and trusted that in the years to come I would focus on our faces more than my thighs.

Lesson 3: I will step out in faith

I was shocked and confused when God first prompted me to share this photo. He knew about my promise and He knew the reasons behind it. And yet, He nudged me to share it. He gently told me to get over myself. That sharing the picture really wasn’t about me, but about giving other women permission—permission to get off the sidelines of life, to create memories and capture them without worrying about thigh gaps or giggly squishy bits, and permission to fearlessly be the women He has called us to be. As uncomfortable as I was sharing this picture and the accompanying story, it was incredibly freeing to do so. I love how faithful God is to use all things for the good of those who love and obey Him. There is no greater reward than freedom through grace.

I pray that you will join me in doing and sharing some scary stuff to bless others with the relief of “Me too!” Use #lovebeyondlooks and #vevavida on social media to share your “Me too!” moments. If you want to win the bathing suit battle, check out our Bible study on body image: Love Beyond Looks.

What scary challenges have you faced lately?

How has God spoken to you?

Made to Crave: 21 Day FOCUS

Deeper Surrender

Have you ever found yourself surrendering an area of your life to God, again? That’s where I currently find myself where food is concerned. Specifically sugar and junk food. I’ve gone around this mountain so many times, it’s tiring.

I really thought the last time was just that, the last time. I climbed up the mountain with the Lord as my guide, victoriously put His flag in the peak of the mountain, and put my hands on my hips with my hair blowing in the wind as the Rocky theme music played behind me.

I thought I had won.

Then two years ago I got pregnant with my twin boys. My mindset had to drastically shift from eating clean to eating enough. Three thousand calories per day is not an easy feat. People would find out about my new diet goal and say “Man, I’d love to be able to eat that many calories every day!” I’d look at them, shaking my head. At first I tried to hold on to my clean eating ways. Then the protein cravings kicked in. Big time. I really should have bought stock in Wendy’s. For real. Although the people in the drive-thru didn’t know my name, they definitely knew me. I’d pull up to the windows and be greeted with “Hey! How are you doing? How are the twins doing?” For real.

During the first trimester the Floyd Twins did not like man made sugar so sweets weren’t an issue until the second trimester. And although adding sweets into the mix made it easier to get closer to my daily caloric goal, I usually still fell short.

Fast forward to today. The boys are about to be 15 months old, and I’m still eating like I’m pregnant. Not as many calories, but no where near as clean as I once did. Although on a very real spiritual level I know that I have been delivered from my sugar addiction, the simple truth is that my brain has been rewired. And not for the better.

A Little Help From My Friends

So I’ve decided to circle this mountain again. I’m going to pick up Lysa Terkuerst’s “Made to Crave”, an awesome book that God used in a mighty way to free me from sugar addiction nearly three years ago, along with the book’s 21 day devotional and climb back up the mountain. But this time I’m bringing some friends with me. I’m teaming up with my sister in ministry, Amia, to participate in the annual inneractive FITCLUB Swimsuit Confidence Challenge. The theme of this year’s challenge is “Made to Crave”.

What Is the Challenge?

Spiritual motivation, group accountability, nutritional support, and fitness challenges. We will be getting rid of all the necessary junk we’ve been carrying around {Hebrews 12:1}, the cravings that distract us from what we’re really longing for.

What Will I Do When I Accept This Challenge?

You will not be “going on a diet”. We’ll be offering healthy, doable eating options, not strict eating plans that you’ll quit as soon as you think no one is watching. There’s no freedom in counting calories and macros every day of your life. Besides, if you’ve got a family you’ll want to model health and wholeness for your husband, and kids if you have them.

You will:

Attempt the daily challenges (fitness, spiritual motivation, photo of the day, healthy food swap, stop drop and chug, etc) posted on the challenge page (details given in the weekly email).
Share your journey. Blog about it, Tweet it, post on Facebook, share on Instagram, or pin it on Pinterest. You don’t have to post a before/after photo, but you can if you want to. You can post about your goals (specific and measurable) and post updates.
Be actively involved. inneractive FITCLUB is a community of women who motivate and encourage one another while holding each other accountable to the goals we’ve each set.
Commit to working out at least 3 days a week. The daily fitness challenges can be incorporated however you like. They can be your work out, supplement your already existing fitness regimen, or not done at all.
Choose your scriptural anchor. This is what you will meditate on to get you beyond the stuff that’s been hindering and tripping you up.
Stay focused by interacting via social media:
- Use the hashtag #CravingGod
- Follow fellow participants
- Follow hosts Reina and Amia (find Amia’s info when you sign up for the challenge)
  - Facebook
  - Twitter
  - Instagram
  - Pinterest

How Do I Join the Challenge?

Head on over to inneractive FITCLUB to sign up for the weekly email.

I can’t wait to walk alongside you on our journey up this mountain to health and wholeness!

Finish the Work

I used to think that the phrase “Jack of all trades, but an ace of none” suited me perfectly. The truth is, though (sticking with the analogy) that I’m more the queen of starting many things but finishing few. I look around my house and see unfinished books. Lots of them. Logging into the dashboard of this blog shows more unfinished drafts than I care to count. I held on to the paper bunnies from our sons’ first daycare room just in case I ever get around to decorating it with things they liked when they started attending the daycare. In August. Of last year.

That’s the story of my life. Great intentions but inconsistent follow through. When I get honest it comes down to a fear of failure. What if I fail at implementing all of the tips and life lessons an author shares with me? What if I pour my heart out in a blog post and it resonates with absolutely no one? What if I muster up all the craftiness I can and the family collage I create for the twins is an epic Pinterest fail?

So my solution over the years has been to halfway do something. Either give a halfhearted effort by procrastinating to the point of having to rush to complete something or letting my interest in a project wane until I have an “Eh, oh well…” kind of attitude.

Wanting to do life differently, I looked over my One Word for the past three years and prayed over my word for 2015. I joined the One Word party late in 2012. My word for that year was INTENTIONAL. I wanted to be more intentional with my time and more present with my husband and son. In 2013 my word was STEWARD. I prayed that God would help me be a better steward of everything He’s gifted me – especially my time, my body, and our home- and then expand my territory. But God has a serious sense of humor. He expanded my territory by blessing me with twins before helping me with managing my priorities. I guess He knows me better than I know myself and knew that I learn best when it’s a sink or swim scenario. I can’t remember what my word for 2014 was. I know it was a year marked by lots and lots of GRACE, though.

After much reflection and prayer, God gave me FINISH as my word for 2015. Finish the assignments God has given me over the years but I pushed aside saying “There’s someone better for that, Lord.” Finish all of the books I started but put down. Finish the decluttering and organizing projects I’ve started over the years but walked away from when I felt too overwhelmed. Finish the small but meaningful projects I promised to do for friends but never got around to completing.

I started out 2015 with the intention of finishing everything I started and even going through unfinished tasks and tackling those as well. But then I ran head first into the reason why I struggle with finishing in the first place. Fear of not completing a task perfectly. It’s not as though I wasn’t aware of this issue. I just naively thought that I could forge ahead with FINISH as my sword, when I really needed to allow God to attack the lie of perfection on my behalf with His grace.

While I set out to finish reading books (my plan was to alternate between one I had started and put down with a new read) and projects around the house, God had other plans. He started performing surgery to remove the deeply imbedded lie of perfection from my heart, and showing me that I’m not alone. I’m not the only believer sidelined by a bruised ego, too afraid or weary to go another round with the unrealistic taskmaster that is perfection.

With God’s prodding and guidance, I started putting the Finish the Work challenge together. I knew it was going to be a social media campaign, so I didn’t really see the need to write anything out. But knowing recovering perfectionists the way I do, I knew that people would want something tangible to refer to as needed. It isn’t super complicated, but I created a PDF file so people wouldn’t have to search through blog posts to find it. Who am I kidding? I don’t post that much content.

I wanted to share my #100DaysofFTW “to finish” list with you. It’s a comittment to spend at least 10 minutes a day (no more than 20) for 10 days on one thing.

Finish “The Best Yes”
Read “Do Over”
Drink more water*
Drink Shakeology*
Clean out my closet
Read Trim Healthy Mama
20 min morning prayer walk
Clean and organize office
Write in the boys’ baby books
Move content from Catalyst Movement to Faith Fitness and Mommy Stuff and relaunch FFMS

*I’m hoping that after 10 days this will be easy to incorporate into my daily living routine

I spent way too much time on Canva creating the Finish the Work images and couldn’t decide which version I liked better so I decided to use both.