Finish The Work – Faith Fitness and Mommy Stuff

Why I Choose To Ignore God

chelsea-ferenando-163294-unsplash Photo by Chelsea Ferenando

This post was supposed to be all about how I hear from God but I’m not a prophet or insane. I feel like I have to add that disclaimer every time I choose to follow through on a God-invitation to give someone a word or share a message with a broad audience. Like, I need people to know God doesn’t speak to me through burning bushes nor do I think I’m a modern day prophet. But I also need people to know that I don’t hear voices – I can just discern between my thoughts and His.

I wanted people to know that when I follow through on a God-invitation to share a word or message that the message is not my own. But before I could fully flesh out that blog post God made that “Pump your brakes” noise and called me out on my unwillingness to follow through on said invitations. So the post went from one big disclaimer to a confession of my ego-driven disobedience. Yay.

You see, pretty much every post God invited me to write this year focused on or touched on a hot topic – something controversial that was relevant at the time I received His invitation to open my mouth (or write in the case of this blog) – that was sure to tick some people off. Believers and non-believers alike were not going to like everything God asked me to share. Not many people read this blog and I really didn’t want to alienate them. Ugh.

Why was I so caught up in people-pleasing when I thought I’ve made substantial progress over the year? Put simply it’s because I’m human and we all have an innate desire to be a part of a greater community. While I don’t know most of the people who read this blog I guess I like to imagine that if we met in real life that we could be friends. And as for the readers who do know me, I would prefer to not upset them because I avoid conflict like the plague – straight up.

What God hit me with tonight is that when I get to heaven it’s just me and Him. I’m not going to see any of the people who read this when I see Him face to Face. Not to say that no one who reads this blog is going to heaven. They just won’t be answering for my life choices. Only I will be giving an account for my life. God can be pretty direct with me like that.

I figured since He put it that way…

I need to get honest about my disobedience in order to do something different. So here’s the truth: I choose to ignore God because

I try to please people instead of honoring Him
I fear what people will think of me instead of trusting Him – this is especially true when it comes to my in-real-life people
I often choose comfort over Him
I question the call on my life
I don’t think I’m qualified to be an ambassador for God
I’m often tempted to reword His message in an effort to make it more palpable but He won’t let me so rather than surrender I just walk away from the invitation entirely

I’m sharing this today for a few reasons. First, confession is good for the soul. Second, I know I’m not alone in hearing from God and not really knowing how to walk it out (sorry if that song is now stuck in your head, too). Lastly, I’m sharing this because I am sick and tired of living in disobedience. I haven’t been spending time with God for months now. I’ll pray, and worship, hear from Him, talk with Him, but I haven’t spent like legit “Let me carve out some time to sit at Your feet and be fed” time with God. I blamed it on my routine being thrown off over summer break. But the truth is that after months of refusing to open my mouth when He told me to, I found it more and more difficult to be in close proximity to Him. Willful rebelliousness will do that.

So here’s to leaving the excuses behind and walking boldy in obedience. Will I still worry about all of the things I mentioned as excuses? Most certainly. I’m still a broken person working towards wholeness, still spirit wrapped in flesh. As long as I’m breathing I will struggle with that stuff. But, just for today – and hopefully each day hereafter – I am choosing love over fear. His love for me over my fear of being rejected by other broken people.

Last week, a friend asked via social media for people to share their 2018 in five words and look to 2019 in three. I responded with “Even the saved need grace” and “Surrendered and obedient”, respectively. I’m going to walk into 2019 holding onto both declarations. I will choose to surrender to God’s will daily and obediently follow through on His invitations while I accept God’s grace as needed to avoid getting caught up in the lie that it’s possible to follow Him perfectly.

***Let this blog post serve as a disclaimer for all future blog posts. I plan on writing whenever God prompts me to do so and I won’t be explaining why I’m writing or trying to make His message more palpable. Hopefully, we can still be friends (be it virtual or IRL) after you read whatever He’s asked me to share. But if not, that’s okay because obedience is better than sacrifice.***

#Goals: February Update

Am I the only one who thinks that February ended way too quickly? I know that there are fewer days in February, but even if the “missing” two or three days were added to the month, it would have still flown by. Way. Too. Quickly.

Maybe it was the fact that the harsh winter we were expecting here in South Carolina never really came. Or perhaps it’s the fact that spring sprang just two weeks into February. I’ve already had and recovered from my spring allergy induced cold. And it’s only March 1st.

Regardless of how quickly March 1st came, the close of February brings an update on my goals for 2018.

Read the Bible in its entirety
Finish the planner God told me to create
Read (something other than the Bible) 3 days a week
Blog more regularly (1st Quarter – Once a month, 2nd – Twice, and so on)
Post on Instagram more regularly (4 times a day)
Figure out why my endocrine system seems to dislike me
Continue to adjust my diet to see what works best for my body (see above)
Take a 20 minutes bath once a week
Lead two sessions of The Wellness Revelation

Progres made in February:

Bible – In addition to Genesis and Job (finished in January), I have now completed Exodus and Leviticus. I am one day behind in my Bible reading plan.
Planner – I actually took two days off in February to finish it! I’ve never done anything like that before. I went to the local library and sequestered myself in a study room and knocked out huge portions of the planner. And while I didn’t finish it, I am ready to meet with a local printer about moving forward.
Reading – I’ve totally fallen off this goal. I’m jumping back on it this weekend.
Blog – I’m writing this at midnight again, but this time it’s March 2nd. But in my defense, February 28th totally snuck up on me.
Instagram – I took a long break but plan on a deluge of posting this weekend.
Endocrine system – I made a commitment to getting a hormone imbalance analysis completed in March. And now that March is here I should probably look into getting it done.
Diet – I didn’t make any major adjustments or changes. I’m listening to my body and acknowledging when things don’t agree with it. I see you, dairy.
Baths – I didn’t keep up with weekly baths, but took at least two.
All things Revelation Wellness – I am taking the month of March off from teaching classes. I will be using RevWell TV to exercise my body and soul. I will be intentionally leaning into God, asking Him to lay out a clear path for me regarding leading The Wellness Revelation.

I’m looking forward to March. To being obedient when God tells me to write. Even if it’s midnight and I’m pooped and I’m teaching an early morning RevFit class. Because obedience feels so much better than putting things off. Obedience is full of peace and contentment.

What is one thing you know God has called you to do but you’ve put off? Is there a small step you can take in obedience?

(Total transparency – It is not a good idea to wait until midnight to post because I completely forgot to hit publish. #facepalm)

Comfortable With The Uncomfortable

I wrote this a few months ago. I never did feel led to put in a photo. Instead I went with a verse. I’m not sure why God asked me to share this, but I trust that it will resonate with someone out there.

No graphics or photos for this post. I don’t know, maybe as I go through my day God will give me a visual to share. But right now, right this moment He’s telling me to just share my heart.

Yesterday a dear sister in Christ texted me a link to a video from the Leading and Loving It #JustONE2016 virtual conference. I’m not sure what day it was from, but it was good. Like brush off the dust of complacency and do some work for the kingdom, good. Work I have been too _______ (fill in the blank – tired, busy, lazy) to do. I’m not talking projects here, either. I’m talking about the work of boldly living out my faith. Declaring His truth whenever and wherever I feel His Spirit leading me to.

Here are some of the notes I jotted down, and you can watch the video here for yourself.

Get going – say YES to God without knowing the details, especially the outcome. Move when He says to and move with urgency.
Get strategic – be aware, be intentional, and be sensitive. Pay attention to people’s details.
Get uncomfortable – God calls me to serve and wash feet.

After watching that video I decided to sign up for the conference – funny, I thought I already had signed up but I guess that was last year – and watch all of the videos. They’re sent directly to my inbox so there’s no extra clicking on my part. The Day 1 video arrived this morning and I couldn’t really relate it to my current season of life. Lori Wilhite talks about God trading our junk for joy, our hurt for healing, and our pain for purpose. Believe me, I’ve had plenty of junk, hurt, and pain. Enough to last a lifetime. But as of this morning I had no current junk, hurt, or pain to reflect on. {Or so I thought} I still looked up Isaiah 60:17, the verse she was focusing on, and took notes. I even added personal reflections to each of her three points.

I could feel God stirring something up within me, and knew He was telling me it was time to dig deeper. Back in early January I signed up for my second ‪#‎cleanhearting‬ challenge to support the amazing ministry of Revelation Wellness. I wasn’t planning on going through the challenge again. I figured I’d watch Alisa Keeton on Periscope when I could or pull up a scope on Katch.

But I started experiencing heartburn a couple of weeks ago and it hasn’t let up. Heartburn is only something I dealt with during pregnancy. And before you ask, no, I am not pregnant. At first I was in denial, blaming the one meal that might have triggered it. But then I got still and quiet long enough (after several days of refusing to listen to my body) to see that the discomfort is God lovingly nudging me. Nudging me to look at my habits and idols.

So when I had finished watching the Day 1 #JustONE2016 video, I decided to read the Day 1 email for he Clean Hearting Challenge to do just that. To identify and confront the idols and habits that are keeping me from doing the kingdom building work God is calling me to do. Day 1 seemed easy enough – looking at the root of our desire to live clean, a desire God created us to have because we were made in His image and He is clean and blameless. Looking at Alisa’s very simple and straight forward definition of clean eating – avoid refined and processed foods and eat real food – was just the “Dude, I can do this” moment I needed.

And the let’s do this attitude wasn’t just about the eating either – and that’s the whole point behind the Clean Hearting Challenge, by the way, to pull off the blinders and see that it’s all about the condition of our hearts. It’s about treating myself better by eating life giving foods more often than fake foods, by getting more sleep, and by moving more. And moms out there, please hear me when I say that none of those goals are selfish. When I take better care of myself, I am better able to love the people God calls me to serve and love. And so are you.

The notion of loving people better got me thinking about February being the perfect month to practice being more intentional in my marriage. So I took The Husband Project: 21 Days of Loving Your man on Purpose and with a Plan off a shelf and started reading it. But right when I was getting to the “meat” of the first chapter it was time to get the boys ready for church.

Just a typical Sunday morning. Until it wasn’t. I got the twins dressed and fed. They were happily playing with our oldest until I had to go upstairs and get dressed and my husband out of bed. As I was getting ready he told me that he decided to sleep in and not to come to church. I was fine with that since he doesn’t sleep in very often. But a small disagreement with our oldest turned into something much bigger not only between the two of us but also between me and my husband. Before I knew it voices were raised and doors were slammed. And to top it all off one of the twins was refusing to get buckled into his car seat. I wanted to cry. And I did.

In spite of my feelings and the tears streaming down my face I went to church. Well, not exactly. The truth is I no longer wanted to go to church. I didn’t know what I wanted to do – I just knew I didn’t want to go. I almost marched everyone out of the minivan and back into the house, but I inadvertently locked the basement door when I slammed it and didn’t have a key to get back in.

So I drove us to church and apologized to my oldest on the way. I apologized for my tone and for slamming the car and house doors. He accepted my apology, because that’s what we do in our house. We humble ourselves to apologize, and we humble ourselves to forgive.

As soon as our junior pastor started preaching I knew that God meant for me to experience what I did this morning so I could really listen to his message. Not just hear it, but listen to it. His message was anchored in Job. It was such an encouragement from my Daddy. It was a reminder that when I make a kingdom declaration – like I did today saying that I was ready to do kingdom building work – that I will be met with opposition. I just forgot how quickly it can happen.

Today I spent some intentional time with God, and shortly thereafter the enemy came at me. Hard. He attacked my marriage and my motherhood. I wanted to throw up my hands and throw in the towel. But as a daughter of the King of kings I must remember that I am not called to do the easy things. I am not called to be comfortable. I am called to roll up my sleeves and wield the Sword of the Spirit and fight, for the victory has already been won.

Why Not?

I was looking over my Finish the Work list and God totally called me out on something. The purpose behind the #100DaysofFTW challenge is to commit to finish things I started and walked away from as well as to start and complete new projects or tasks. I’m not sure how intentional it was, but I neglected to put Beachbody coaching on my list.

I first became a coach in 2012 because I got hooked on Shakeology and wanted the coach’s discount. I was super into couponing at the time and getting the discount was a no brainer. I didn’t put any time or effort into helping people learn about the Beachbody mission or all the resources they have to help reach that mission. I would gleefully share with people about how big of a role Shakelogy played in combating my sugar addiction, but stop short of telling them “You’ve got to try this!” I’d have no problem telling someone that about a an awesome discovery like a cleaning product, a curly hair friendly product, or a wallet friendly store. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell people they needed to give Shakeology a try. I didn’t want people to see me as a sales person, because I am so not a sales person.

In November of 2012 Beachbody launched the Ultimate Reset, an all-natural alternative to harsh cleanses, and I was tempted to try it. Three weeks of structured clean eating is just what I needed to get my eating back on track. But the price tag was a hefty one so I planned to start eating better in the new year. Besides, it would be pretty silly to try to eat better during the holiday season.

The new year came and went. When spring rolled around my cousin told me that a girl at her work chatted her up about a Beachbody program that was on sale. Her coworker told her that it helped people lose weight and helped curb cravings. She asked me about it because she knew I was a coach (even though it was only in name). I did a little research and it turns out it was the Ultimate Reset. My cousin convinced me to do it with her, so we both ordered it. She ordered the challenge pack which included Shakeology and I ordered the regular program since I was already receiving the shakes direct shipping.

It was the most time consuming health program I’ve ever committed to. But it was awesome. I dropped 4% body fat and lost 8 pounds. I was more excited about the body fat than the weight though, because my body fat percent has always been on the high side. But more importantly, I learned to prioritize and manage my time. I had to. There was no other way that I could make all of my meals and snacks if I didn’t.

As a result of my experience with the Ultimate Reset I realized just how selfish I had been with keeping Beachbody and their product lines to myself. So I committed to being a coach, a real coach. Then I got pregnant with the Reset twins, as I affectionately called our boys for at least the first trimester. It was a joke between my cousin and I because I told her that I finally decided to do the Ultimate Reset since I figured it would be a great detox in case my husband decided to try for another baby. You know, clean house for a possible tenant. We joked that my body was such a great environment for a baby that God decided to bless us with two.

Anyway, being pregnant with the boys and then subsequently having them left little time or energy to follow through on the whole trying to be a real coach thing. I did try to watch videos and go through the coach office when the boys would nap, but quite honestly there are so many resources available to coaches that I was simply overwhelmed.

Recently my sister in ministry and I decided to truly commit to doing this coaching thing. (As a former soccer coach I really wish they’d find another name than coach) We’re going to go through the 30 Day Challenge Group for coaching. Just like the challenge groups for any other Beachbody fitness or nutrition program, there will be accountability coupled with motivation. My prayer is that I can get over my fear of the opinions of others long enough to be of service to women who are looking to live a healthier lifestyle.

We’re inviting other women to join us in this 30 day challenge. If you have wondered about getting involved with Beachbody, either was a consumer or coach, this challenge group is for you. If you are a coach, but only in name, this challenge is for you. If you were a coach, but decided it wasn’t for you because – well, for whatever reason – this challenge is for you.