God sized dream – Faith Fitness and Mommy Stuff

My Abundant Life: Celebrating Ten Years of Freedom

In November of 2005 I took the first step on a scary but necessary journey to “find myself”. I just giggled as I wrote that sentence because how cliche is that? But I guess it wasn’t entirely cliche, since I usually think of early 20-somethings setting out on such journeys and I was nearing my 30’s but still knew very little about myself. I mean I knew facts about myself, but I had no real sense of who I was. The core of my personality, my likes and dislikes – even my goals in life – hinged on who I was with. I was a chameleon who didn’t know my own true colors.

By the time December 31st of 2005 rolled around I was almost ready to take the next big step in my journey, which was to own up to the fact that I didn’t know what was best for me. As humbling as it was, the admission only made sense since I didn’t really know who I was. How could I possibly make wise decisions for myself? But it wasn’t until January 2, 2006 that I was ready to make this admission to anyone else.

The funny thing is, is that even then I was in no way ready to admit how lost I was – how desperate I was for God. But God is patient and I am so grateful that His timing is perfect. He let me experience exactly what I needed in order for me to get to a place where I would not only recognize my spiritual bankruptcy for what it was, but where I could be humbled enough to cry out to Him.

On this day, January 2nd, I celebrate the ten years I’ve been on this journey with God. The coolest part of my journey with Him may be that as I look back I can clearly see that He was walking with me long before I agreed to walk with Him. And I’m not just talking about the five months between January 2nd when I admitted I didn’t have it all together and the afternoon in May when I asked Him to be Lord of my life. I can look back over my life and see how He gently pursued me until I was ready to give Him all of me – my shame, my guilt, my fear, my insecurities, my hopes, my dreams, my identity.

Over the last ten years He has guided me through a series of surrenders – some deeper than others, but all helping me to see Him for who He is. And in turn, who I am in Him. I share all this to encourage you wherever you may be on your journey with God. He is just and He is merciful. He will pursue you until you are ready to accept His grace and love. And once you have surrendered your all to Him, He will not leave you but continue to walk with you.

Journey With God

“So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the LORD your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Dueteronomy 31:6 (NLT)

Things to Try in 2016

Looking Forward to 2016

If you’re anything like me your email inbox has been clogged with “How to make 2016 your best year ever!” subject lines. Maybe it’s because I follow a lot of fitness and mommy accounts but my Instagram feed is overflowing with invitations to join the next challenge group that will blast away my excuses and extra pounds. This post makes no such promises. Nope. I will not be promising that you’ll have a perfectly manicured life if you sign up for any of these services or buy any of these products. These are just some things I’ve read/done/eaten/tried this year and enjoyed (or plan to read/do/eat/try this coming year) that I wanted to share with you.

One Word by Jon Gordon, Dan Britton, and Jimmy Page. I shared about my One Word experiences last year and I can’t recommend going through the process enough. You can get a copy of the book here and if you’re not into pen and paper like I am you can purchase the Kindle version. It’s a super short read but worth the purchase price regardless of the format you decide to get. My word for 2016 is abide. I know it’s the perfect word for this year because I’ll be working on a pretty big God assignment and I’ll need to stay focused on the One who gave the assignment rather than all the directions I can run with it.

Breaking Busy: How to Find Peace & Purpose in a World of Crazy by Alli Worthington is one of the best books I’ve read this year. I started several book this year, but I read this one all the way through so that’s saying a lot. She mixes biblical principles, real life tips, humor, and humility so effortlessly I felt like we were just chatting over coffee. Well, she would be drinking coffee but I’d be drinking tea because I can’t stand coffee. We did in fact chat via Tweets as I was reading the book which was quite fun. I couldn’t help but jump on Twitter as I was reading because there were so many moments of “Oh, that’s so true!” and “That’s so simple it’s brilliant!” that I wanted to share. The book releases January 26th but you can pre-order a copy here. {I just read in the launch group that there will be pre-order goodies to be had, but I don’t have the details, yet. I’ll post an update here as soon as I get them.}

Grokker is an awesome streaming service that provides everything from cooking lessons to workout sessions – including yoga. You can stream on your mobile device or television via Chrome Cast (which is what I’ll be using), Apple TV, or HDMI cables. I learned about the service through FitFluential and recommend you visit their site if you plan to research all things health and fitness. What I’m most looking forward to with using Grokker? The FREE access to the Grokker experts. I will be starting my free trial this weekend. You can get yours here.

Green Blender is another health service I learned about thanks to FitFluential. Each week 5 recipes along with the pre-proportioned ingredients are delivered straight to your house. It’s enough to make 10 smoothies – two 12 oz smoothies per recipe. You can share one or drink a big 24 oz smoothie. I geeked out when I first learned about this service because back in September I stopped ordering a particular super smoothie and I’m down to my last full bag. I was starting to research other protein options but not seriously trying anything because the choices can be a little overwhelming. I was planning on using some of my Christmas money to try the service but this morning I got an email saying that as a FitFluential ambassador I was selected to get my first shipment free. Woo-woot! I even got this cool unique url for you to use in order to sign up. They run cool analytics to see how many people sign up using the link. I think. Because they also gave me a code to give you – reina. I know you use the code, just not totally sure about the link. Can you tell I’m new to this? My first box will arrive the week of January 7th and I’ll have a blog post dedicated to my thoughts on the 5 smoothie recipes up by the 15th.

Revelation Wellness Instructor Training I will be completing a process I started back in August of 2013. I finished all the online training and attended all of the phone based chats but was not able to attend the instructor retreat. I was pregnant with our twins and couldn’t afford to give up five days of leave. I needed every day to go towards maternity leave. Two years later I have some leave saved up and the boys – all of them including my husband – can survive me being gone for a week. I’m actually not so sure about that so I’ll probably be asking my parents to come out from California and help out. If you have ever felt God leading you in the direction of faith then fitness, you should definitely check out Revelation Wellness. If not as an instructor, then at least check out their Periscope account and their YouTube channel.

So, these are the things that have me looking forward to 2016. What about you? What do you want to try out in 2016?

Finish the Work

I used to think that the phrase “Jack of all trades, but an ace of none” suited me perfectly. The truth is, though (sticking with the analogy) that I’m more the queen of starting many things but finishing few. I look around my house and see unfinished books. Lots of them. Logging into the dashboard of this blog shows more unfinished drafts than I care to count. I held on to the paper bunnies from our sons’ first daycare room just in case I ever get around to decorating it with things they liked when they started attending the daycare. In August. Of last year.

That’s the story of my life. Great intentions but inconsistent follow through. When I get honest it comes down to a fear of failure. What if I fail at implementing all of the tips and life lessons an author shares with me? What if I pour my heart out in a blog post and it resonates with absolutely no one? What if I muster up all the craftiness I can and the family collage I create for the twins is an epic Pinterest fail?

So my solution over the years has been to halfway do something. Either give a halfhearted effort by procrastinating to the point of having to rush to complete something or letting my interest in a project wane until I have an “Eh, oh well…” kind of attitude.

Wanting to do life differently, I looked over my One Word for the past three years and prayed over my word for 2015. I joined the One Word party late in 2012. My word for that year was INTENTIONAL. I wanted to be more intentional with my time and more present with my husband and son. In 2013 my word was STEWARD. I prayed that God would help me be a better steward of everything He’s gifted me – especially my time, my body, and our home- and then expand my territory. But God has a serious sense of humor. He expanded my territory by blessing me with twins before helping me with managing my priorities. I guess He knows me better than I know myself and knew that I learn best when it’s a sink or swim scenario. I can’t remember what my word for 2014 was. I know it was a year marked by lots and lots of GRACE, though.

After much reflection and prayer, God gave me FINISH as my word for 2015. Finish the assignments God has given me over the years but I pushed aside saying “There’s someone better for that, Lord.” Finish all of the books I started but put down. Finish the decluttering and organizing projects I’ve started over the years but walked away from when I felt too overwhelmed. Finish the small but meaningful projects I promised to do for friends but never got around to completing.

I started out 2015 with the intention of finishing everything I started and even going through unfinished tasks and tackling those as well. But then I ran head first into the reason why I struggle with finishing in the first place. Fear of not completing a task perfectly. It’s not as though I wasn’t aware of this issue. I just naively thought that I could forge ahead with FINISH as my sword, when I really needed to allow God to attack the lie of perfection on my behalf with His grace.

While I set out to finish reading books (my plan was to alternate between one I had started and put down with a new read) and projects around the house, God had other plans. He started performing surgery to remove the deeply imbedded lie of perfection from my heart, and showing me that I’m not alone. I’m not the only believer sidelined by a bruised ego, too afraid or weary to go another round with the unrealistic taskmaster that is perfection.

With God’s prodding and guidance, I started putting the Finish the Work challenge together. I knew it was going to be a social media campaign, so I didn’t really see the need to write anything out. But knowing recovering perfectionists the way I do, I knew that people would want something tangible to refer to as needed. It isn’t super complicated, but I created a PDF file so people wouldn’t have to search through blog posts to find it. Who am I kidding? I don’t post that much content.

I wanted to share my #100DaysofFTW “to finish” list with you. It’s a comittment to spend at least 10 minutes a day (no more than 20) for 10 days on one thing.

Finish “The Best Yes”
Read “Do Over”
Drink more water*
Drink Shakeology*
Clean out my closet
Read Trim Healthy Mama
20 min morning prayer walk
Clean and organize office
Write in the boys’ baby books
Move content from Catalyst Movement to Faith Fitness and Mommy Stuff and relaunch FFMS

*I’m hoping that after 10 days this will be easy to incorporate into my daily living routine

I spent way too much time on Canva creating the Finish the Work images and couldn’t decide which version I liked better so I decided to use both.

becoming myself

I don’t remember when I picked up my first copy of Stasi Eldredge’s becoming myself: embracing God’s dream of you. Funny, I remember where I bought it, but not when. Also, I’m pretty certain that I picked it up because I misread the title as God’s dream for you. For the past five years I’ve been torn between wanting to go into full time student ministry working full time as a teacher. Although I have accepted that teaching middle school is boot camp for God’s next assignment for me, I would be lying if I said there weren’t times that I desperately want to speed up the timetable so I can walk into God’s dream for me.

Like so many other books I have bought over the years, becoming myself went untouched. (I have a list of books to finish in 2015) Then last month, as a Family Christian Blogger, I learned of an opportunity to receive both the book and the accompanying eight session DVD. I didn’t even know there was a DVD that went along with the book. I’m not saying that I would have already read the book had I known, but just maybe. It wasn’t until I received the book and DVD did I remember I already owned the book. The memorable book cover had me searching through my library to confirm my suspicion that I had not only seen it before but walked by it several times in my own home.

As a mother of infant twins and a seven year old, I do not have the luxury of pleasure reading like I did before I had kids. What I do have though, is my morning time. It isn’t as sacred as I’d like it to be, as it is often sacrificed in order to get my oldest to school on time. And when I get to have it, reading a book is the last thing I do during that time. I pray, read short devotionals, pray some more, and then read. I say all that in hopes that you won’t judge me when I tell you I’m only about to start reading Chapter 4. Seriously. Although I thought I was cured from caring what others think about me, blogging and reading this book have made me keenly aware of my ever present desire to be accepted by others – especially women.

My friend Amia and I always talk about how you can’t help people if you haven’t walked through whatever it is they’re struggling with. And although you can commiserate with your friend if you’re still in that place, two people in a pit are still in the pit. One of the goals of Catalyst Movement – the dream God gave me for a girl centered ministry – is for girls to love one another as they learn to love themselves. I know that God brought my attention back to this book so I can work through some stuff so I can better lead girls into a life of freedom and wholeness.