freedom – Page 2 – Faith Fitness and Mommy Stuff

Finish the Work

I used to think that the phrase “Jack of all trades, but an ace of none” suited me perfectly. The truth is, though (sticking with the analogy) that I’m more the queen of starting many things but finishing few. I look around my house and see unfinished books. Lots of them. Logging into the dashboard of this blog shows more unfinished drafts than I care to count. I held on to the paper bunnies from our sons’ first daycare room just in case I ever get around to decorating it with things they liked when they started attending the daycare. In August. Of last year.

That’s the story of my life. Great intentions but inconsistent follow through. When I get honest it comes down to a fear of failure. What if I fail at implementing all of the tips and life lessons an author shares with me? What if I pour my heart out in a blog post and it resonates with absolutely no one? What if I muster up all the craftiness I can and the family collage I create for the twins is an epic Pinterest fail?

So my solution over the years has been to halfway do something. Either give a halfhearted effort by procrastinating to the point of having to rush to complete something or letting my interest in a project wane until I have an “Eh, oh well…” kind of attitude.

Wanting to do life differently, I looked over my One Word for the past three years and prayed over my word for 2015. I joined the One Word party late in 2012. My word for that year was INTENTIONAL. I wanted to be more intentional with my time and more present with my husband and son. In 2013 my word was STEWARD. I prayed that God would help me be a better steward of everything He’s gifted me – especially my time, my body, and our home- and then expand my territory. But God has a serious sense of humor. He expanded my territory by blessing me with twins before helping me with managing my priorities. I guess He knows me better than I know myself and knew that I learn best when it’s a sink or swim scenario. I can’t remember what my word for 2014 was. I know it was a year marked by lots and lots of GRACE, though.

After much reflection and prayer, God gave me FINISH as my word for 2015. Finish the assignments God has given me over the years but I pushed aside saying “There’s someone better for that, Lord.” Finish all of the books I started but put down. Finish the decluttering and organizing projects I’ve started over the years but walked away from when I felt too overwhelmed. Finish the small but meaningful projects I promised to do for friends but never got around to completing.

I started out 2015 with the intention of finishing everything I started and even going through unfinished tasks and tackling those as well. But then I ran head first into the reason why I struggle with finishing in the first place. Fear of not completing a task perfectly. It’s not as though I wasn’t aware of this issue. I just naively thought that I could forge ahead with FINISH as my sword, when I really needed to allow God to attack the lie of perfection on my behalf with His grace.

While I set out to finish reading books (my plan was to alternate between one I had started and put down with a new read) and projects around the house, God had other plans. He started performing surgery to remove the deeply imbedded lie of perfection from my heart, and showing me that I’m not alone. I’m not the only believer sidelined by a bruised ego, too afraid or weary to go another round with the unrealistic taskmaster that is perfection.

With God’s prodding and guidance, I started putting the Finish the Work challenge together. I knew it was going to be a social media campaign, so I didn’t really see the need to write anything out. But knowing recovering perfectionists the way I do, I knew that people would want something tangible to refer to as needed. It isn’t super complicated, but I created a PDF file so people wouldn’t have to search through blog posts to find it. Who am I kidding? I don’t post that much content.

I wanted to share my #100DaysofFTW “to finish” list with you. It’s a comittment to spend at least 10 minutes a day (no more than 20) for 10 days on one thing.

Finish “The Best Yes”
Read “Do Over”
Drink more water*
Drink Shakeology*
Clean out my closet
Read Trim Healthy Mama
20 min morning prayer walk
Clean and organize office
Write in the boys’ baby books
Move content from Catalyst Movement to Faith Fitness and Mommy Stuff and relaunch FFMS

*I’m hoping that after 10 days this will be easy to incorporate into my daily living routine

I spent way too much time on Canva creating the Finish the Work images and couldn’t decide which version I liked better so I decided to use both.

From Good To Grace

Christine Hoover’s latest book is an invitation to have a daily reprieve from an addiction to goodness.

I received a copy of this book as a Family Christian Blogger. The opinions expressed in this review are my own and not influenced by Family Christian or anyone else.

Years ago, while reading Lysa Terkeurst’s Becoming More Than A Good Bible Study Girl, I received such freedom from God that I thought “Whew, I’m so glad I learned all of those powerful Biblical truths!” I truly believed that I was cured from the need to be good in the eyes of others. But in the years since then I find myself continuously surrendering my desire to please others, just to pick it back up. And then surrender it again. It’s exhausting.

I know that’s why I connected with the cover of Christine Hoover’s latest book From Good to Grace: Letting Go of The Goodness Gospel. It shows a woman (probably a mom) sitting in a laundry basket as she thumbs through a book. I can totally identify with her – too tired to find a “proper” place to recline and read. Like her, I have to steal away moments to read. And I’ve loved every moment I’ve spent reading this book.

She had me at “Good, Bye”

Yes, that’s totally a reference to “Jerry Maguire”. High five for those of you who got it. And for those of you who didn’t, you can look it up later. The book is split up into three sections, each covering three chapters (the math teacher in me was tickled by the symmetry of that). I’ve only gotten through the first section which is titled Good, Bye (hence the heading above). Although I’m only three chapters into the book I know that Christine wrote this book just for me.

Sure, I know it’s her story, but it’s just as much mine as it is hers. She talks of her obsession with being good – trying to win the approval of others and God. My heart winced as I let her words sink in that the gospel isn’t just for salvation; it’s for everyday life. Too often I wave the banner of God’s power and tout what He’s done, totally neglecting what He is still doing in my life. I accept that salvation is by faith alone, but somehow expect sanctification to be a different story. Thinking and acting as if I need to go it alone.

The goodness gospel that Christine describes is all about caring more what others think of us than what God does. She writes about putting chains on ourselves and I can most certainly relate. I take the chains of bondage that Christ’s crucifixion and resurrection freed me from and I wear them like jewelry. They weigh me down and I remain stuck for fear that whatever I share will be judged, or the presentation of my thoughts won’t be witty or compelling enough. I question and doubt not only my ability to write, but my calling to be in this arena, or any other for that matter.

Christine spoke directly to my heart when she confessed “Unfortunately for me, a large part of a goodness obsession is an addiction to self. Goodness is evaluated by activity, completed tasks, responses from others, and results. It requires a focus on appearance and image and maintaining some semblance of religious behavior […] Goodness fed both my pride and my self-condemnation” Oh how I wish that I could just create the perfect checklist and be better once I’ve completed all those tasks.

Alas, I know that isn’t possible. What’s more, I know that isn’t what God wants from me. Or you. As Christine succinctly puts it, “He simply wants us to follow him, receive him, submit to him, and […] let what we receive from him compel us outward to serve and love others.”

I’m looking forward to reading the rest of From Good to Grace. I smile just thinking about stealing away moments to read it. I must confess that I almost added it to my daily checklist. I decided not to. I decided instead to let it remain a “get to” rather than a “have to”. I highly recommend this book if you, like me, struggle with a goodness addiction.

becoming myself

I don’t remember when I picked up my first copy of Stasi Eldredge’s becoming myself: embracing God’s dream of you. Funny, I remember where I bought it, but not when. Also, I’m pretty certain that I picked it up because I misread the title as God’s dream for you. For the past five years I’ve been torn between wanting to go into full time student ministry working full time as a teacher. Although I have accepted that teaching middle school is boot camp for God’s next assignment for me, I would be lying if I said there weren’t times that I desperately want to speed up the timetable so I can walk into God’s dream for me.

Like so many other books I have bought over the years, becoming myself went untouched. (I have a list of books to finish in 2015) Then last month, as a Family Christian Blogger, I learned of an opportunity to receive both the book and the accompanying eight session DVD. I didn’t even know there was a DVD that went along with the book. I’m not saying that I would have already read the book had I known, but just maybe. It wasn’t until I received the book and DVD did I remember I already owned the book. The memorable book cover had me searching through my library to confirm my suspicion that I had not only seen it before but walked by it several times in my own home.

As a mother of infant twins and a seven year old, I do not have the luxury of pleasure reading like I did before I had kids. What I do have though, is my morning time. It isn’t as sacred as I’d like it to be, as it is often sacrificed in order to get my oldest to school on time. And when I get to have it, reading a book is the last thing I do during that time. I pray, read short devotionals, pray some more, and then read. I say all that in hopes that you won’t judge me when I tell you I’m only about to start reading Chapter 4. Seriously. Although I thought I was cured from caring what others think about me, blogging and reading this book have made me keenly aware of my ever present desire to be accepted by others – especially women.

My friend Amia and I always talk about how you can’t help people if you haven’t walked through whatever it is they’re struggling with. And although you can commiserate with your friend if you’re still in that place, two people in a pit are still in the pit. One of the goals of Catalyst Movement – the dream God gave me for a girl centered ministry – is for girls to love one another as they learn to love themselves. I know that God brought my attention back to this book so I can work through some stuff so I can better lead girls into a life of freedom and wholeness.