This is 42.
It’s my Jackie Robinson Year.
The year I stop avoiding or numbing my feelings. I am over wasting hours scrolling on my phone watching videos or reading other people’s take on the life that’s happening around me. All in an effort to get outside of me. And I’m done eating my feelings because my small frame can barely handle the twenty pounds I gained from not wanting to sit with grief.
This is 42.
It’s my Jackie Robinson year.
The year I start choosing to please God rather than pleasing people. And let me be honest here. In most instances, for me, pleasing people simply means the absence of conflict. I’m not big into “thata girl”s or pats on the back. Thanks to the ripples of my childhood trauma I’m just happy to avoid rocking the boat.
This is 42.
It’s my Jackie Robinson year.
The year I proclaim that I don’t fit in anywhere and it’s okay. I’m done explaining my racial ambiguity away for the comfort of others. I’ll never be Latina enough. I’ll never be Black enough. And for real for real, I’m okay with it. I know who I am. I know whose I am. I don’t know why God chose to make me gumbo incarnate, but I’m choosing to trust His choice in doing so. I’m going to proudly and loudly proclaim that I’m Afro-Latina even though I may not look like other people who wave the flag.
This is 42.
It’s my Jackie Robinson year.
The year I use what God has given me to share what He puts in me. God has spoken to me my whole life, for as long as I can remember. When I got tired of being His enemy and gave my life to Christ, I surrounded myself with people who called Him Lord. I found out that not everyone hears from God the way I do. Or maybe they’re not listening. Or it could be that they don’t trust that it’s Him. Whatever it is, I know that not everyone relates to the way God and I communicate. So on most days I’m uncomfortable relaying things He tells me to share. But listen up y’all, life is too short and too long for me to not do what God’s called me to do. We give too much weight to titles and letters behind our names. I give too much weight to titles I don’t have and letters that are missing from behind my name. I question my ability to be a mouthpiece for God because I don’t want to have to defend what I share. I don’t know all of the theological buzz words and I’m woefully unaware of the Christian cliques. But God says I am qualified to do what He calls me to do and share what He invites me to share because He is the architect of the plan and the words I share are His.
This is 42.
It’s my Jackie Robinson year.
The year that I unapologetically stand up for what I know is right. I pledge alleigance to the Kingdom of God and no kingdom here on earth. I am a citizen of heaven. Wherever I step I stand on holy ground. I believe that the injustice, destruction, and chaos that makes up the human existence will only be made right when Christ returns. But in the waiting, God calls everyone who stands under His banner to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with Him as Lord. So when I see injustice I will take a stand and speak up. I will offer mercy to the best of my ability and point people to resources that they can use as they open their eyes to the injustices of our world. And when I struggle to offer mercy, in humility I will pray for my heart to be softened.
This is 42.
It’s my Jackie Robinson year.
Faith Fitness and Mommy Stuff 